Tuesday, January 12, 2016

I and she

I was reflecting on myself, about an interesting behavior I've been observing: it is not that I don't understand what people mean by what they do or say, but I will still think and behave, in reaction, as if they truly meant well. I was thinking why, often.
Eventually I recalled the person that was half of my age and morphed into me. Let me call that person she, or he, or it, or whatever, just for convenience. She truly thought all people meant well by what they do or say to her. Actually, she didn't even think that, because there wasn't even the concept of aggression or being its target. Enlightenment finally struck: everything start to make more sense in hindsight if not all are benevolent.
I took over from there. I thought she left but she did not. She became my body, returned to Nature. I do not own her. I simply cannot avoid her, as she cannot avoid breathing without extreme efforts or consequences. She still thinks the way she used to think or not think. She talks to me, often.
If that is the case, I was mistaken. We in fact just got to be about the same age, or she is twice as old as me. Anyhow, I have been new and stupid until now. Now I can hear her better. Either I got mature enough to converse with her on an equal footing or she just learned some new language that easily gets through.
But what's I and what's she are always changing, or never change. But can I or can I not talk about the never changed?
I was writing this to answer her. Or do I mean it?

------

I was reflecting on myself,
about an interesting behavior
I've been observing:
it is not
that I don't understand
what people mean
by what they do
or say,
but I will still think
and behave,
in reaction,
as if they truly meant well.
I was thinking
why,
often.

Eventually I recalled the person
that was half of my age
and morphed into me.
Let me call that person she,
or he,
or it,
or whatever,
just for convenience.

She truly thought all people meant well
by what they do
or say to her.

Actually,
she didn't even think that,
because there wasn't even
the concept of aggression
or being its target.

Enlightenment finally struck:
everything
start to make more sense
in hindsight
if not all are benevolent.

I took over from there.
I thought she left
but she did not.
She became my body,
returned to Nature.
I do not own her.
I simply cannot avoid her,
as she cannot
avoid breathing
without extreme efforts
or consequences.

She still thinks
the way she used to
think or not think.

She talks to me,
often.

If that is the case,
I was mistaken.
We in fact just got to be
about the same age,
or she is twice as old as me.

Anyhow,
I have been new and stupid
until now.

Now
I can hear her better.
Either I got mature enough to converse with her
on an equal footing
or she
just learned some new language
that easily gets through.

But what's I
and what's she
are always changing,
or never change.
But can I or can I not
talk about the never changed?

I was writing this to answer her.
Or do I mean it?